8 Things I Wish I’d Known As A Newlywed

 

We walked the aisle, said “I do,” and stuffed cake in each others faces when I was 24.

I wasn’t 25 before I realized that I had absolutely no idea how to be married.

I brought a lifetime of bad ideas and bloated expectations to this enigmatic relationship, and the deeper we got into marriage, the more ridiculous some of my most basic assumptions about it proved to be.

After slamming doors and screaming matches became regular hobbies of ours, I knew I needed to put some of these basic expectations to the test.

My personal exploration hasn’t ended—and ideally, never will. But here are a few things I’ve picked up along the way that could save newlyweds at least a few hard days.

1. Happily Ever After is a Perk—Not the Point.

Our modern obsession with being happy often makes it far easier for us to love happiness more than we ever love another human.

Our modern obsession with being happy often makes it far easier for us to love happiness more than we ever love another human. And though being happy is a very real by-product of a healthy relationship, the value we put on personal fulfillment is so inflated, it’s causing us to miss one of the more beautiful purposes of marriage.

In Hebrew, the word used for marriage actually means “Fire.” And not-so-coincidentally, fire is also the element used throughout ancient Hebrew culture to represent personal reformation. In this light, marriage, and its necessary—but often unhappy—friction, is seen less as a doorway to happily ever after and more as a tool in God’s hands to help us become increasingly beautiful—increasingly our best and brightest selves.

8 Women Christian Men Should Never Marry

Man and woman marriage

Have you prayerfully considered these characteristics when choosing a potential marriage partner? (iStock)

1. The unbeliever. In last week’s column, I reminded women that the Bible is absolutely clear on this point: Christians should not marry unbelievers. Second Corinthians 6:14 says, “Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?” (NASB). Apart from your decision to follow Christ, marriage is the single most important decision you will ever make. Don’t blow it by ignoring the obvious. You need a wife who loves Jesus more than she loves you. Put spiritual maturity at the top of your list of qualities you want in a wife.

Can You Actually Know God’s Purpose for Your Life?

 

Do you spend much time wondering (or worrying) about what career or purpose is right for your life? I’ve lost sleep over the same topic, constantly returning to this question:

Am I wasting my life in this (job, relationship, church, etc.)?

 

25 Things That Make You Happier – based on Science

Humans have remarkable control over their own happiness.In her book, “The How of Happiness: A New Approach to Getting the Life You Want,” psychology professor Sonja Lyubomirsky says a person’s happiness is 50% due to genetics, 10% due to circumstances, and the remaining 40% is “within our power to change.”But it takes work.That’s why we’ve compiled 25 different ways to boost your mood. Happiness is different for each person, but hopefully at least one of these methods will help you find your inner sunshine.